I’m not perfect, but I am showing up.

It’s not about being perfect, it’s about showing up.

Whatever that means for you in each moment. Maybe you can’t show up for that event or that commitment right now, but can you still show up for yourself?

Maybe you can’t show up for another right now, but can you still stay with yourself, not desert yourself when you most need it?

You don’t need to do it perfectly, you don’t need to have the right words, or the right moves or the right lines. Can you stay with yourself in the heat of it, and companion your heart through the ups and downs?

Lately I have had the privilege of continuing with my arts based research and am using the creative process to explore exploring ‘the edges’.

I am exploring the connection between safety and growth and how we can find what we need in order to feel safe enough to grow.

To explore the edges.

To push our comfort zones.

To dance at the edge.

Finding ways to transform and expand and redefine who we are, our story of who we are in the world.

To begin to break open who we thought we were and become more of who we are in the world.

I have witnessed a spoken word night tonight, Speak up with Fleassy Malay.

I have witnessed many incredible performances, with the aim just to be real, to be vulnerable, to show up. It was not about being perfect, but just being willing to be seen in that edge, that growing, that celebrating of the humanness within us. It was incredibly inspiring to witness. I walk away feeling blessed to be surrounded by people with such courage to take those steps to the edge and be willing to embrace the unknown, even when it feels terrifying.

I am exploring my edge too- I am doing Elemental Voices, a six week singing journey with Clare Sentience, a dear friend and an incredible singer and medicine woman.

The journey I have taken with expression and my voice has been a rocky one, much more preferring to write or draw or paint, this is my comfort zone. And because one of my highest values is growth and truth, I have been drawn to exploring this, two years ago with Fleassy’s Speak up Course, and then again now with Clare’s Elemental Voices course.

It is not a natural position for me to be up on stage expressing using words, or sound.

I know that being more comfortable in my own skin, in front of others, just letting myself be seen and witnessed, and HEARD is something that will only strengthen me as a person, as a facilitator and as a therapist.

I am committed to my growth, even when it is scary.

So, I would like to share with you a recording of my spoken word piece that I performed for the Speak Up Course in 2013, something that I recorded while practicing and haven’t listened to since.

I found it tonight after attending the current courses performance, and I have such compassion for that Amanda that was so terrified of being witnessed and seen, that she wrote a piece about how terrified she was to be witnessed and seen, and the GIFTS that come from taking the steps to so the things that terrify us.

It is with great courage that I include the link here to this audio recording, if you too would like to witness my expression.

Keep showing up for yourself.

In whatever way is right for YOU.

There is no one way to grow, the only task is to let go of “should” and just be okay to show all of your humanness, and in doing so, connect deeply to yourself and those lucky enough to witness you in your truth.

Blessings,
Amanda