NEWS

Creative Journaling #30
Create your own idea for this one!
I started with a small square piece of paper. On this paper, I wrote a wish, dream, what I wanted more for myself in my life, what I wanted to focus on.
I then folded this page into a paper crane! It now sits with me on my desk at work. Inside, I know what is there, and yet no one else does (unless they open it). There is no reason for anyone to open as it is such a delightful yellow crane, and no one would think there was something so special within it! This serves as a reminder to me every time I see yellow in the corner of my eye.

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
Brené Brown

Sharing and connection, sharing your story with someone is one of the most powerful ways to break free from your own bounds, to break free from the cage that you sometimes create around you. I am forever learning about how powerful this can be, from experience to experience. I find that the more I share where I am at, the more I am reminded that we are all in this together. I did an activity to explore the other night using sandtray therapy. For those of you who don’t know, sand tray therapy uses a tray with sand in it that becomes the landscape, the world that you create within. From this place you choose figurines and symbols to place in the tray, that you can move around, and interact with one another. If you have not tried this process, I recommend it, as a way to explore your innermost feelings, beliefs and themes in your life and gain clarity. In the process of exploring the tray that I created, I discovered that the theme was around moving from a journey of being hidden to being seen. When I came across the quote by Brene Brown above, it reminded me of the power of the process of sharing the journey you are on right now with one another. The interested part of the process was that there were similarities between my sand tray theme and that of my companion. The main point of shift, of awareness, of opening and expanding for me was remembering that even though it is scary and hard to be vulnerable when I am resisting it (in my self doubt), I have learnt time and time again of the rewards of sharing my authenticity with the world. There are endless rewards for me in sharing, and equally there are rewards for those I connect and share with. In this sharing, something changes, something happens. I am not sure exactly how to explain it, but I think it is that when someone is being authentic and real, it is like everything else falls away, there is no time, no judgement, no planning of tasks in my brain, and no distractions. There is just two (or more) souls connecting, fully present in the moment. It is like when something is so real and so connected, you can feel it in your whole being.

My learning in this moment is that no matter what is happening in my life, I am okay. And the way through the difficult times for my is to express. This might be through art, through movement, through talking, through music, whatever it is, I know that it moves me, it frees me, it allows me to be present and be real and not fight or hide or control. The pain comes in the resistance, in the fight. When you surrender to whatever it is you are feeling, and fully accept this, there is almost an audible sigh of relief. You don’t have to play any games or pretend. You can just be real, and the people that you are courageous enough to trust and invite into this sacred space are gifted with the permission to also be real, to drop away any pretences, any games or any pretending. It is a chance to be free, and be real, and be alive!

Five things I love about me.
Starting this image and thinking of five things I love about me can be challenging at times, and over the years it is something I have become better at. There was a time when I would not have been able to find 5 things.

I feel that sometimes the way I was brought up and the environment I live in has an unsaid rule that stops you from being able to truly love yourself. That by thinking and feeling that you are great, awesome and loveable makes you conceited and up yourself. Now I understand that one of the most important things about living a meaningful life is being able to develop a healthy self esteem.

Healthy, well what does that really mean? For me it means being able to see my value in the world, so that I can feel good about myself and who I am, regardless of what I do or achieve in the world. That me being worthy, is unconditional, no matter what circumstances I find myself in. I feel like this is necessary in a world that judges, and assesses your skills for employment, for relationships, for accomplishing things and being awarded certificates. These things assess your skills, but not who you really are. When you are able to separate this from who you are, and still have an unwavering knowing that you, at your essence are worthy of love, and hold qualities that surpass your circumstances, puts you in a position of being more resilient to what life throws at you.

So… how do you develop this? Because as a child, did we not all have this?
Before we were moulded into something else?
I don’t think there is an easy answer to this, and as much as we it can help to have your essence and being reflected back to you from those around you that love you, when it comes down to YOU on your own, where does this come from?

For me, I have developed this through others, through allowing myself to be seen, be vulnerable and be real with those around me. Not only the parts I deem “good” but all of it, the struggles, the judgements, the doubt, and the fear.

This allows me to be seen fully, and in my experience of this, I have become more connected, more loved, and more loving towards others. It has freed me up, I am not spending time and energy on hiding parts of me, which only develops more shame and disconnection.

When you continually show up, to those around you that you trust, you develop more self esteem, more trust in yourself and your own ability to be true to yourself. When you value yourself and your own experience, make yourself a priority in your life, and make your wellbeing a priority, you are telling yourself (through ACTION) that you are important, that you have your own back.

And then, over time, you can hear the question “what are five things that you love about yourself?” the struggle is not finding five things, but it choosing which five things to express…

Self Portrait using your non preferred hand.
WOW This one was interesting for me. Using your non preferred hand taps into a different part of your brain. It takes away your stronger skills and leaves you will a child like skill level. It was both challenging and liberating to try something, knowing there was no possible way it would end up perfectly, or even to be controlled or end up how I might like it to look. And with that, it meant I had full permission for it to be whatever it ends up being. The process did bring up the fear of it not being “good enough” and this feeling and acknowledging this feeling meant I could then see that the very purpose of these creative journaling prompts was to EXPLORE and DISCOVER not to develop art skills or perfectionism. And so- if you haven’t tried this one yet, it is a good one to explore and discover, to let go of expectations and making something perfect. To just be, to see your face as just that, a face, without judgement. What comes up for you when you look at your face? Do you see the parts you wish you could change? What if you look a little closer? The longer you spend the longer you see it without judgement, as lines, shades, shapes… And what about your eyes? What do you see when you look deep within? It is an activity that offers the time and space to transform how you see yourself, not only on a physical level but on an emotional level also. Set your mind free, set yourself free, and allow yourself to be you, all parts, unashamedly raw and real.

What is your star sign? Make this page show the parts of your star sign you feel are true for you.

This below is an image using the symbol of my star sign- Libra. I do not know much about star signs, but I have friends who know a great deal. In fact, my friend Courtney did a full birth chart reading for me last week, and I was blown away with how spot on it was. I am not sure it is because she already knows me or if she could have been so spot on with someone she had just met, but I found it so incredibly amazing that there were insights, suggestions and traits that my personality is connected with depending on what the planets were doing when I came into this world.

My sign is about balance. This reminds me the subtle changes in balance in my life in different areas and how sometimes the smallest change can throw me off balance for a little while. It also reminded me that as everything is in constant change all the time, that having a complete balance outside of ourselves in life is unrealistic and impossible. I feel that the balance comes from within. I also believe that this is constantly moving also, back and forth tuning in to that moment when things feel right, centred, balanced, and when they are not, adjusting my internal workings so that I can find that equilibrium.

Day 25: Trace your hand or foot. Fill the shape in with paper, words, color, pattern..

Creating a Dream
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My Wish for you for 2013
My wish for you this year you special soul, is to daringly open yourself up to change, to follow the dreams in your heart, to smile and laugh without containment, to spend time in nature, ponder life with beautiful friends new and old. Allow yourself to receive! There are so many people who love and care for you. You can ask for help, and it does not make you weak, but stronger, and more connected to others and yourself. Take good care of yourself. Breathe. Move your body. Eat good food, mindfully present to the tastes and textures. Remember to relax and take time out. Take risks and be brave, try things you never thought you would! If you ever feel lonely, give yourself a kiss on the shoulder, to remind yourself that you are here for you, and you are your own friend, and you are never alone. Love and be loved, share, give to others, random acts of kindness, ESPECIALLY for yourself. Remember there is a purpose just for you, by just being you.

An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function in a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship. It takes two wholes.

Patricia Fry